Ultrasound/blood work

I went in for my check-up to see how the ovaries are doing. According to the doctor they are doing nicely. They didn't have to adjust my meds & I have another one on Friday. He says that egg retrieval this weekend. YA!!!! Then hopefully between Tuesday & Thursday next week he will be putting the dividers back inside. We are getting so excited. Brad is so cute about the whole thing. He wants to be a dad so bad & he will be a great one. I see him with the kids in my family & he does fabulous. I think he is going to be the fun parent & me the mean parent. He still can't handle the injections. He hates that I have to in flick pain on myself & says he couldn't do it to me. So needless to say I had to recruit injectors for when I have to do IM injections. Because I KNOW for a fact I won't be able to do those on my own. Too large of a needle. No thank you!!! I will start those either Sunday or Monday & it could last for two to seven weeks. Oh, goodie... But the injections are going well. I still freak myself out with having to put a needle, mind a small one, in my stomach. I do the worst injection first. It is my repronex & it BURNS when it goes in & I don't like it at ALL. Over all it could be worse. Well, that is an up date of all the fun going on. Will post more on Friday...

Three

Now I ask myself: Why am I doing this? Then I think, oh ya I want children. Today starts the stimulus drugs. I wish I was getting a stimulus check instead, but I am not. As you can tell my ovaries behaved themselves & so I have started my injections. There was miscommunication between the nurse & I & I was only suppose to give myself one shot a day for 5 days, but instead I had to do it for 9 days. Long story & very irritating. But I am over it & have begun. I am to do THREE shots for 5 days & then have an ultrasound/blood work to see if my ovaries are doing fantastic & at that point they will adjust my 3 shot doses & then wait a couple days & have another ultrasound/blood work & then decided from there, etc. etc. etc. You would think that giving myself shots for 9 days would prepare me for the big day of three. WRONG!!! I was more scared then I have EVER been. I just couldn't do it. Good thing Brad was there for moral support. He said he couldn't do it either (to me, not him). But I did it & I think I should get a gold star. The first two weren't so bad, but the last one burned & it is the longest shot to give. But it is over for now & 4 days to go for now. I am HOPING & PRAYING that my first ultrasound/blood work comes back perfect & I can go from there. But fat chance I am sure. Oh and I made a mistake tonight. Not a very good one. I was suppose to put 1ml of saline into the powder mix & I accidentally did 2 mls. Oops!!! I couldn't think of giving myself 4 shots. Because 2 mls in the belly is A LOT!!! It is official I am a pin cushion. I think this maybe my only go at IVF or a very sick way of getting over my fear of needles/shots. I keep tell myself that this is for a good reason. When I find out, I will let you all know. Because I ask you this, are you sure you want little Brad's & Sarah's roaming the earth. It can be scary. Now we just wait and see. Wish me luck...

It has begun!!!

I did my first shot tonight. It was scary. It was the smallest needle & so cute. I was scared to death to do it. I was about to start hyperventilating, but then I thought about all those kids that are diabetic & give themselves their own shots & I got over it & stuck it in. It didn't hurt. I think the shock of having to poke myself was all I needed. Tomorrow I have my first ultrasound to see if my ovaries have been behaving themselves.
I also learned that Dr. Anderson takes photos of the embryos prior to putting them back into me. CRAZY. I will have to post pictures of our dividing little cells. Which will one day be little Thomas children. It is also scary, because I hope I don't become to attached to the little dividers. But I have to have hope & faith that it will all work out. I know the Lord will provided what He thinks is best for us. It is hard to leave it in His hands, but whatever happens I know He has a plan for us.
So it begins, my little box of torture is doing it's job...

I Swear They are Legal!!!

Today I received a box of torture. My medications... I don't know if people know this about me, but I hate getting shots and I am a nurse. In fact I don't do flu shots & I am over due for my tetanus. I think the Lord is getting back at me or playing a cruel joke. Also, if I get pregnant, my children better appreciate what I went through, because if not, I may have to give them 3 shots a day for 2 weeks in the stomach & then 1 shot a day for 7 wks in the butt. Yes, I said butt while blogging. So this is going to be my life for the next 2-3 weeks. Starting the 15th I start one injection a day for 5 days & then after that I do 3 injections for 2 wks. At day 1 I have an ultrasound to make sure my ovaries are behaving & didn't produce any cyst & if everything looks fabulous then I continue. So then at day 8 & 10 I will have another ultrasound & blood work to make sure my ovaries are happy & producing lovely cyst full of a fabulous eggs getting excited to come out. After that my doctor will determine when they are perfect enough & when they are, I will give my self a shot in my bottom or a friend from work (lucky them) will do the injection. Once the injection is given we have to be in Soldatno 36 hours later for egg retrieval & then growing the embryos. After that, we wait for 3-5 days for implantation. Then of course the waiting game to see if it took... But that is going to be our life the next couple of weeks. I pray that Brad will survive my hormonal change & crankiness. Which it can be easy. So if Brad calls you to move in, please remind him it is temporary. Well lets HOPE!!!

Already with the tums...

As previously stated Brad & I are going to try IVF. Actually I am the one doing IVF, no injections for him. The first step of IVF is birth control for 21 days to suppress the ovaries to nothing & then after that they will jump start them with all kinds of injections I get to do in my lovely belly. I started the BC last night & lets just say I don't do well with hormones & I was so nauseous & in fact still nauseous. I can't wait to see what I am like in my 1st trimester. Now I have taken tums for 2 days now & not looking forward to living off them in the future. At least I will have nice & strong bones. So we will see how well I will do on this path of IVF. If Brad & I end up having children, they better be nice to me. I had to go through a lot for the little buggers. I am excited & scared at the same time. I know I need to have faith in the whole process & just let it happen. I hope you guys enjoy my adventure to motherhood. Why can't this happen the old fashion way...

Anybody have Valium???

If anybody knows me truly, knows I HATE to fly. Ok. That is really putting it lightly... Tonight I booked reservations for our cruise & of course we have to fly to L.A. I would rather swim with the sharks then board a plane. But enough about that. It is officail, we are going on a vacation in August. Just Brad & I... YEAH:):):) We are going on a Mexico Cruise through Carnival. We are so excited. We go from LA to Puerto Vallarta, Malzalon & then Cabo. Sorry if they aren't spelled right. Didn't major in english, spelling or grammer. We leave the 15th & return on the 23rd of August. We are going to stay with Brad's brother Eric Saturday night & the cruise leaves Sunday. Our 5th anniverasy is the 20th, yippy... The fun thing about it, is that if the IVF works I will be 17 wks pregnant & hopefully through my 1st trimester yuckiness. We hope. So, if anybody has any valium they want to share, PLEASE can I have some?

Adoption vs IVF

For those who don't know, my baby making goods aren't where they are suppose to be. Which means that the little egg & little sperm will never meet & won't make the long journey to the big uterus in the sky... Or my belly! So for the last 4 yrs or so, Brad & I have contemplated what to do. I was never in a hurry. Probably because I wanted to be that one time miracle. Hate to say it, no miracle has happened. But I have loved every minute with my hubby & all the fun practicing we have done. LOL!!! At first we decided to do adoption. We are in the application process now. We hope to have the application done by Mayish time. But in the mean time, my Ob-Gyn MD has suggested trying IVF with a doctor in Soldotna. Yay... After a month of talking about it, we decided to go ahead and make a consult apt. Which was today. Talk about a whirl wind of information. The trip down was uneventful, wish I could say the same for coming home. We ended up in a nice size snow storm with white out conditions. I about had a heart attack & contemplated drinking something VERY strong. But the great thing about Anchorage was the moment we hit the out skirts it was as clear as day & no SNOW!!! Enough about the trip. Off to the appointment. My Doctor is Dr. Anderson & to come to find out he is a U of U graduate, go Utes & is a member of the church. In fact he use to go hunting in Grace ID, where my in-laws are from. Nice side note. But back to the apt. Dr. Anderson is very interesting. He just came in the room & asked why can't you get pregnant. I was caught off guard and was tongue tided. Over time we got to the point & he did an ultrasound of my ovaries & checked my cervix, always a joy & they gave me a plan and that was that. It was such a fast apt & so much information that my brain has left. If we decided to do it. We start the process on third day of my next period with a month of birth control & then all these fun injections for 2 wks after that, then ultrasounds/blood work & if everything is perfect then the big IVF will happen. Then there will be more injections, pregnancy test, if positive then more injections & then ultrasound, the moment a heart beat is heard: NO MORE INJECTIONS. I love needles... Brad & I are thinking of starting in April, with IVF in mid-May & then if pregnant, ultrasound with heart beat in mid-June & baby in Feb next year. Fun! Fun! If it doesn't happen then adoption here we come... That is my appointment in a nut shell. Is your brain as over loaded as mine. Hope not. Hope all is good in your side of the world & we will keep you posted.