Been Awhile

My sister-in-law Michelle says she checks my blog everyday for an update. It has been a while & this is for her. You would think I should just call her to tell her how we are doing & to see how they are doing. The problem is by the time we are able or think about it, it is to late & I am sure everyone is in bed. Hate this time zone stuff. We do think of our family close & far & hope that all is going well. So on to the update.

We will start with Madilyn because of course she is the most important:):) She is doing fabulously. She is growing like a weed, a very pretty weed. She is walking, running & talking. She can says Hi, Bye, Boot, Doggie, Baby, Mommy, Daddy, Thank You, I love you, Cracker & of course NO! She can sign more, please & milk. She loves to listen to music. We will give her our iphones with music playing & she will walk around the house just dancing & singing. It is so precious. This girl won't sit still for anything. She is constantly moving & we like it. She doesn't watch TV, which I LOVE!!! She does like to stand on the stool & watch me bake. Well actually she loves to get into our silverware drawer & pull out all the spoons & forks & pretend she is stirring something. She has to be everywhere we are & has to know what is going on at all times. We are waiting patiently for the snow to melt to go out & play. This summer better be an Indian summer & no rain. I think as much snow we have gotten this winter it should make up for no rain this summer. We live next to a park & we will be living there. I think we should just have our mail forwarded there:). She is so much fun & we love her to pieces.

On to Brad, he is now a courier & is liking it. He is actually hoping to become an electrician. He is on a waiting list for a school & hopes to be picked up this summer to start training/learning the ropes. It is long process & we just have to be patient. He would do a great job. He has a great mind for that kind of work & a good work ethic. The down fall of this line of work is he maybe out of town for work. But such is life in Alaska. If that doesn't work out, FedEx is a great company. Time will only tell. But that is my Brad.

Now on to me. Well since the last post I had surgery. Which of course has been great since & loving it & happy I did it. That is that. For me the biggest change was switching jobs last May. I wanted to spend more time with Madilyn & less time at work. So I went back to the hospital & this time doing what I want to do. I am now a mother baby nurse working days. LOVE IT!!! I am so happy with the change & so is our family. I still work full time but now only work three days instead of five. It is hard sometimes to work 12-hour shifts, but knowing I get four days off with my Madilyn is the best. Also my calling in the church keeps me busy. I am now the 1st counselor in the Stake RS Presidency. I was secretary for 4 yrs & was moved to 1st counselor. We have Women's Conference coming up in April & am so excited for it. Lots of fun. I work with fabulous women that have been & are great examples to me. Anything else. Nope.

The dogs are dogs. Lucy & Abigail are so good with Madilyn & they are getting so fat thanks to Madilyn feeding them her food!

Life is good & couldn't be any happier. We are thankful for the blessings we have received & are excited to see what fun things are ahead for us.

Surgery

As my maternity leave is ending (BOOOOOO!!!!!) I should blog about what happened exactly in Bend, OR. I know a lot of people knew that I was having surgery & what it was all about. But for those that had no idea & want to know what really went down, here you go. I am first going to start with where we stayed. It was heaven. We stayed in these cute little cottages called: Bend Cottages. It was like staying in at home, but cozier & my mother-in-law was there & that helped out TONS. The nice thing was they give you a discount for having surgery with Dr. Redwine & it cost just as much as a hotel, but better. I feel in love with Bend. I joked with my family that if I loved it I would not return. While we where there it was in the 50's & sunny & wonderful. Oh & it was well below zero in Alaska. But I always fall back with the saying, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. But at least there is grass & NO snow or freezing temps. The people there said this is VERY unusually warm for this part of the year. Brad said it maybe Heavenly Father telling us something. Like it is time to move:) In the end we did come back. But Bend was wonderful:)

Ok, on to the surgery. I had a preop on 1/17/11 with Dr. Redwine. Side note there will be a lot of TMI in this post, so beware. We meet him & he was very nice. He started out needing to do an exam. Nothing like breaking the ice with a women's FAVORITE exam. I will tell you that would be my most painful exam in my life. I about came off the table. Brad ended up getting from his seat to do something. There was a nurse there to help hold be down & oh I screamed out. The nice thing was when he was leaving the room he said that would be the last time I would feel that. I was so excited to hear that. We then went into his office & described what he found in the exam & what his plans where going to be. He would get rid of the endometriosis, possible bowel resection, cutting this one nerve & then he had to add another procedure because he thinks that it eroded through to may vagina. Good times. That is the TMI. But it gets worse, so if you don't want to know this side of me stop reading NOW!!! After that we went to go get my meds filled. I had to have a bowel prep in case he need to do bowel surgery. I hope to NEVER have a bowel prep again. The worse thing I have ever drank, it has now topped my barium drink while in high school. It was horrible!!! The next day was my surgery. My surgery was at 1200 pm & we had to check in at 1000 am. They did all the fun stuff of IVs & a million questions & then I was ready to get wheeled back. The funny part was the anesthesiologist wheeled me back. I asked if they are trying to save money or are they short staffed. He said no that is what it is. He was the nicest man ever. I got situated on the lovely table & the doctor started giving me meds & then I was out. What felt like a minute later I was in recovery. But in reality four hours later I was in recovery. My mouth was so dry. The first thing I heard was the surgery was more in depth & that I needed to stay in the hospital over night. I was like ok. In & out of sleep. Brad would be in my room waiting for me. About an hour later I was taken to my room. I had a Foley catheter in as well as a JP drain. This is all new to me. I felt like I had a huge surgery not some little laparoscopic procedure. Anyway. The nurses that took care of me where WONDERFUL. They were so nice. Dr. Redwine ended up doing a full thickness bowel resection of my sigmoid. He says I had a hole. Nice. I was put on a full liquid diet & could advance as tolerated. I was doing well with water & soda & then I was able to have a chocolate milk shake. OH HEAVEN!!!! I had a total of three while I was there. It was the best thing I have ever eaten. My body was jumping for joy. I had no nausea issues thanks to the patch that was behind my ear for nausea. I would write it but don't know how to spell it. I was sore & had so much fun trying to switch positions. I will say being an ortho nurse helped on this because I knew so many techniques that I was able to do it by my self & no bother the nurses. The worse was my Foley. He had to do surgery to the out side of my bladder & I think with having a Foley & it moving, I would get the worse bladder spasms. I drained A LOT from my JP drain, but that is because he flushes out the abdomen so much. Over all the night went very well. The next day I got to experience the removal of a Foley AND a JP drain. I have removed dozens of these in patients but not on myself. The funny part was the nurses said the same thing that I say in the same situation. Now take a deep breath & here we go. Ya. Painful. Not fun & I am sorry for all my patients that I did that to. KARMA!!! My doctor did rounds & he said that the endometriosis was worse then he expected. I had it all the way up on my diaphragm & just basically everywhere. He says that he got it all & that I should feel a huge difference. This is what he did:

- Laparoscopy. Excision of endometriosis of lower diaphragm & electrodesiccation of superficial endometriosis of the posterior diaphragm.

- Presacral neurectomy (cutting the nerve to my uterus to help with cramps)

- Excision of extensive endometriosis

- En block resection of pelvic floor for treatment of complete obliteration of the cul-de-sac.

- Bilateral ovarian cystectomies

- Full-thickness resection of sigmoid for sigmoid nodule of endometriosis

- Bilateral ovarian suspensions

Sounds like a lot, yes it was. Here are some pictures of before & afterwards. They are graphic so be prepared.

Sorry there is a big gap between picture & the next sentence. Has to do with scanning. But anyway it looks like he put lighter fluid in there & then lit a watch. It looks worse then it feels. So the biggest question on every bodies mind is can I get pregnant. Dr. Redwine says if I still can't get pregnant I can't blame endometriosis any more. There is something else that will be causing it. Are we going to try. Yes, but not until Madilyn is a year old. The girl that referred me to him didn't get pregnant for another two years. So I don't have my hopes set up for a right away pregnancy, but also I don't have my hopes up that it will happen. I like adopting. No physical pain just emotional. Is there anything else that I am missing. Nope. It went good & I am very thankful for what he did. I have already seen a huge difference & it is wonderful. I am also VERY thankful for insurance. This surgery & hospital stay will come close to $30,000. WOW!!! That isn't even our housing, flights, car rental or food. Brad has great insurance & I am very thankful. I am extremely thankful for my mother-in-law Laurie for being there for us & especially for Madilyn. Thank you. I was put on some pretty strict limitations. I am not to lift over 20 lbs, go up & downs stairs (sparingly), house work or any really physical labor for six weeks. Good times. Over all I am following it. But the whole lifting thing when you have a baby in a car seat only last about three & half weeks. But the other stuff I have followed pretty well. The flight home went really well. We upgraded to first class. That was awesome. The church really stepped in & helped with meals & anything else that I maybe in need of. The food was awesome & an answer to so many prayers. Thank you.

To end this. I have to say thank you to my Heaven Father. He was there the whole time let alone guided us & protected us every where we went. We have been truly blessed during my maternity leave. I can't tell you how many blessing we have received. There are too many to count. We are very thankful for the blessing of paying our tithing. We know we only give 10%, but he truly gives up 110%. I know that He lives & answers our prayer. He is there when we need him & even when we don't think we do. We are a very blessed family. Madilyn did amazing the entire two weeks of vacation. Thank you again to everyone that has been there for us. We couldn't have done it without you.

Children

Today I have been thinking & I will warn anybody that reads this will most likely be offended or annoyed with me. How am I going to raise Madilyn or any other children that will grace our lovely home. This has come more to me now with what has been going on in the media. There is a mom is Alaska that has been charge with ONE count of child abuse for putting hot sauce in the child mouth & making him take a cold shower. I will tell you now that I am not siding with her or agreeing with what she did, but I will say that I am TOTALLY annoyed with every ones quick judgement on her. In fact I am fired up over peoples quick guilty verdict. I will confess I had hot sauce put in my mouth as a child by my babysit for saying a VERY bad word at her house. The thing was that was a consequence for swearing. If you swear you get hot sauce. She followed through with it & didn't just make up some excuse not to punish me. Empty threats! I remember it & I learned from it. Do I have nightmares from it or some psychological issues, no. Did I swear again, yes, but NOT in her home:) I don't know how Brad & I are going to raise or punish our children. I think each child will probably be different, because what may work for one may not work for the other. I have so many thought about this issue & what I hate is people say oh you are a bad mother for doing that. The sad thing is kids now a days are spoiled rotten brats. Not all of them, but a huge chunk of them are. I swear when I hear kids tell their parents off & the parents do nothing, I want to smack the parents & say are you serious. You are the parent not them. Kids think of themselves as equal to adults & don't give them the respect. What happened to thank you & please & MEANING it. I have to commend this women, when she asked her son what happens when you lie, he said I get hot sauce & guess what she followed through. How many moms or dads say, when I count to three you will be sorry. Then I hear 1-2-3 at least a dozen times & nothing happens. Kids need to have boundaries & consequences. Be it time out or going to your room or what ever don't be afraid to follow through. Your kids will still love you. I have to say I loved that my parents followed through on EVERYTHING with our punishments. Of course mine was spankings with a wooden spoon. But my mom did it. But of course before she did it she went into her room cooled off & I was sent to my room. She would come down & talk about what I did wrong & then she would spank me. She followed through. Now I am not saying you need to spank but at least follow through. Oh & the other thing is childhood obesity. This women was punished for hot sauce & people say the long lasting affect that will be on him. But think about all the parents that have children that are obese & there long last affect mentally & physically. I think they should be charged for neglect & mental abuse. I love hearing parents wanting to sue McDonald's for making Happy Meals enticing with toys & making there children obese. HELLO just say NO!!!! McDonald's didn't force you to drive to McDonald's to buy & then force it down their throat. Really come on people. I have great examples of being a great parent. I hope that Brad & I can take their examples into mind with raising our children. But before you judge a parent for their actions maybe you should look at yourself & realize you aren't perfect either!!!

AND one last thing. This women went to Dr. Phil to get help & because of it she is being charged. There are, I am sure, tons of women out there that are like her that don't know what to do. Maybe instead of charging her we should say to those in her same situation that there is help. Because WHO now is going to come out & say they do the same thing & they need help with fears of charges & jail time. Instead, here are the places you can go. Lets change the behavior of the parent & the child together in a humane way... I am just saying!

Sorry this is everywhere of a post. But I had to say something:)

Happy New Year

Another year has come & gone. Crazy how fast it goes. I am afraid now that it will just continue to go faster now that I am a mom. Well that is what I have heard. 2010 has been a great year with ups & downs & just in between. The great trial has been adoption, but that to has been our great blessing. We have experience both sorrow & true happiness. I like to focus more on our happiness of Madilyn. Which, by the way is growing like a weed. Before you know it she will be talking & walking. Now she just eats & sleeps, with a few diapers in between. I am thankful for the time that Brad & I had alone, but am more thankful that we get to start this new adventure together. 2011 will bring great stories as well as learning experiences. It will be interesting to see what they will be. I do know the beginning will have us traveling to Grace, ID & introducing Madilyn to the Grandparents & then off to Bend, OR for me to get sliced & diced. Other then that the last 11 months will be a mystery. I use to make new years resolutions and I would actually keep them, shocking I know. But I haven't a clue. Maybe I will make my goal list when my brain is fully functional & then I can make realistic goals. I love goals & how they can change your life for good. I love it. But I am happy for this year & know it will be a great one. I am thankful for 2010 & the blessings & challenges that have been presented. I am especially thankful for my family & friends & the support they gave Brad & I. I am eternally grateful. I have the best family & friends EVER. Thank you. So on to 2011!!!

17 day

Ms. Madilyn Ray is 17 days old & has changed so much. She is still my little cutie & she is getting more & more fun to be around. She had an apt today for her 2 wk check up. She now weighs 8 lbs even & is 21 1/4 inches. She is growing like a weed. She is so fun to watch. My favorite time is when she is done eating & she is asleep & she will make these amazing faces. She will first start out with a one side smile then it will turn into a full blown smile & her dimples will just shine. She likes to sleep with her hands in fist up by her face or across her chest at first, but when she deep into sleep her arms are above her head & she will stay like that for about 2-3 hrs. Then when she is about to wake you see this little fist shot straight up in the sky & you will hear this little groan & then the second fist goes up & they come down slowly. Then when she is hungry & she is rooting & trying to suck what ever is in sight then she will make this tight little ring with her lips & just stare off into the distant & then relax until her cute little lips feel the sweet warm taste (actually disgusting) formula. She has the funnest burps that smell disgusting that when she does them in my face, I want to throw up. Then when she sneezes they are always in 3, just like me, and her whole body gets into it. She is a doll & we have fallen head over heals for her. Not so much at her 5 o'clock feeding, but she is still out little love. We are so very blessed to have her in our life. She is a dream come true. We can't thank Heavenly Father enough with this treasure. We pray that we can live up to his standard, let alone the birth mothers. We can't even express the gratitude we have for her. She is amazing & we are truly blessed to know her. Madilyn is loved in so many ways.

We have high hopes for her. I talk with Madilyn every night about her future & hope that she will make great choices. I know I shouldn't post this, but the other day we were watching 16 & pregnant & one of the couples I wanted to kill them both, especially the father. I told Madilyn if she brought home a guy like that I was going to cut his dick off & sew her vagina shut. She just looked at me. You know they are never to young to have these types of talks. HAHAHA!!!! AND she can't talk back & say, MOM!!!!! I have her total attention. The question is: Will she remember? Nope. There is nothing wrong day dreaming about her future. We pray that she will be strong in the gospel & marries a great man who can take her to temple & treat her like a queen that she is:) A mom & dad can daydream, can't we!

Madilyn Ray Thomas

Born 11/29/10 in Anchorage, Alaska at 6:52 am

7 lbs & 4 oz, 20 inches long & a head full of hair

Now the story. We have adopted a little girl. We wanted to announce it on the 29th, but we have learned from past experience to wait the 10 days before making it known. It has been 10 days & ta-da we have a little girl. We have known about this for awhile, but wanted to keep in on the down low. She is amazing & we love her so much. She has the cutest dimples known to man. I have always wanted to have a little girl with dimples. She is a really good baby that loves her binkie. She is full of expressions & my favorite time is when she is done eating & is asleep & she will start to smile so big & her dimples just shine. We love her so much & are so very thankful. We couldn't have this blessing if it wasn't for the her birthmother. We are very grateful for her & this hard choice. Thank you just doesn't seem enough. She is wonderful & we pray that she will know how much we appreciate her. We are very thankful right now again for this little, but huge blessing. We know that Heavenly Father has been there for us through all of this & we are thankful for Him. We are so grateful & so HAPPY!!!! But here she is, our little Madilyn.

Hello! Hello!

Do you ever wonder if your life was a musical what song would be playing though out the day. I wonder that & sometime I actually live it. One of my favorite songs that I play often in my mind when people want something or I am in an issue that I want out is the song from Black Eye Peas: Just shut up!!! I have it on my Ipod & I play it at work ALL the time. I wish at times that my life could be Glee & I can break out in song & dance & my life will be so much better. But not so. Anyway, I don't think people would want to hear me sing, let alone dance all day anyway.
A lot has been going on since the last time I have posted. I will start with adoption. Actually there isn't too much to write about. As of right now she still wants to place & she is due Dec. 5th. She did say at one time she wanted to meet us & we gave her sometimes & it didn't happen. The nice thing is she is the one contacting LDS Family Services & still tells them she wants to place. From what we have learn she is very quiet. Maybe it is a good thing we don't meet. I would probably break out in song & dance & she would go running for the hills. We would love to get excited but we hold back. We aren't going to name her until 11 days after she is born, because we will know she will be ours. Soooooo:):) We are going to call her a different name each day & see if one sticks. We may end up with a daughter named Bertha or Bubba. No, names we have thought of are Megan, Claire, Olivia, Sophia, Lilianna or whatever comes to mind. The nice thing is there is no hurry & we can have fun. I think we will start pacing in mid November. Our caseworker says that we will probably get a phone call telling us she is here & come get her. Which we don't mind. This adoption is so different from Aiden's. I kind of like it. The only probably is we won't really have any stories to tell this little girl about her birthparents. Not like with Aiden where we could tell him so many fun things about his birthmother. That is it for adoption.
Now on to the next exciting news. Ok, you may not think it is that exciting, but I sure do. The reason why I can't get pregnant is because of endometriosis. It is a crappy disease or what ever it is, it is CRAP & NOT FUN. You can google it. But this is how I describe it. It is chickweed. If you don't know what chickweed is, it is this 3 clove stuff that grows on your lawns. It is easy to pull up BUT it grows back even more & it is annoying. Well that is what I have. The only way that I have been taught to treat this stuff is to go in & burn it off. Well like chickweed the roots are still there & it will grow back & even more & then on top of that you can get adhesions. The adhesions is what has my ovaries, uterus & colan adhering together. So much fun. My doctor in Alaska gave us 2 options, 1. do a robotic procedure to go burn some more off or 2. do IVF. She says we need to know where we want our money to go. We didn't make our mind up, we just said ok we will adopted & if it gets bad enough we will have another operation. WELL:):) A couple of months ago I meet a girl that has the same problem & she told me about a doctor in Bend OR that specializes in endometriosis & instead of burning it off, he goes in & cuts out ALL of it. In fact we he doesn't leave the area until it is ALL gone. I went home & googled him & was impressed with his results & his research. I had to get all my medical records together & ship them to him & see what he says. He wrote back & says that I can come down & have surgery with him. I was thrilled. I called & scheduled surgery for Jan. 18th & booked our housing in these cute cottages. We are going to Bend OR. I can't even tell you how excited I am to get this stuff out of my body. This is were I break out in song: I am so excited!!! I will tell you this is not a fun thing to have. I pray it works. I am tired of being in pain. We picked January & not sooner, is because if we adopt then I will still be on FMLA & won't have to worry about vacation because I will already be on it. I am not looking forward to flying but you have to do what you have to do to get the medical care that you need.
The next song I would be singing right now is a hymn from church: Count your blessings name them one by one, count your blessings see what God has done. I am thankful for the blessing that I have received. I know at times Brad & I could have thrown in the towel, but we know that He is with us & has not nor ever turn his back on us, so we won't either. He is our Father in Heaven & He wants the very best for us & loves us dearly. We thank Him everyday & can't even express the gratitude. Thank you:)